Wow.

I can't believe it's been two years since I've posted. A lot has happened to me in the last couple of years. Things that make me question who I am as a person and where I belong in this life. Is this where I'm truly supposed to be? Is this what I'm truly supposed to be doing? As I travel on my path, and cross the paths of others I wonder about the grand master plan of it all. Will what I'm doing matter in a few years to anyone but me? Will I make a difference to someone? I turn 40 next year and I don't know if it's mid life crisis or what, (I hate that term) but in the last year I have really started to look at my choices and wonder about the time I have spent, versus the time I have left to spend. We don't know how many days are given. We don't know how long we get. I crochet and Facebook and work and spend time with my friends and work and I just can't help but wonder is this all there is? Is this the master plan for me? And am I an ungrateful brat for not being content with what I have been given? I have it all. Loving husband healthy kids, a job that pays the bills, a roof over my head and food on the table. But I can't push aside this overwhelming feeling of discontent. And I don't know how to fix it. Thought for a long time maybe it was hormones or something. I cry regularly because I can't shake this feeling. And I'm not sure what I want or need to make me feel more fulfilled when I have everything I need.